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Goodbye.
The musings
of the suppressed and restrained
helpless03 February 2010 @ 08:40 pm
intrigued01 February 2010 @ 04:20 pm
i hate the fact that i have such a short attention span and that i get distracted super easily. amidst doing assignments, i will burst into a random old song. For example, i started singing "in my head.. in my head.. zombie zombie zombie.." and that is the start of it all, cause i couldn't bring myself to concentrate on my work until i stop whatever i am doing to find the song and lyrics online to sing along to. which will then lead me to download the song (if i don't have it in my comp) which will interest me to find more songs in the album, thus more downloads. and more singing. and i will record my singing and fine tuning it again and again until i am satisfied (or just give up altogether). and so while waiting, i go on to facebook and see any updates cause i'm a facebook whore. only to realise that i have spent a good 30 minutes being distracted.
then i will get a slight panic attack where i can literally feel my heart pound and my tummy ache and i will chew my nails which i really hate cause i have stopped this bad habit but it comes back everytime i get stressed. and so i go on feeling like a failure. and after composing myself by going to the kitchen to chew on some ice cubes (cause i do this when i'm stressed), i go back to my work, strangely feeling a lot more productive cause it seems that i thrive under pressure.
but this process repeats throughout the whole day. and now you see i'm so distracted i go on to livejournal to update this shit. only thing i managed to stop myself is logging on to msn even though i am itching to. and as much as i'm panicking right now, i am very very very sure that i will complete my assignments on time cause it ALWAYS happens. just that the process is long and arduous and u just can't wait to get to the end.
ok, i'm out!
31 January 2010 @ 01:24 pm
Last night was magical. And i meant it literally. I can now cross out professional magician off the list. 0_o
// My daddy's kicking up a ruckus right now for my creeping back home at 630 in the morning though. :(
// My daddy's kicking up a ruckus right now for my creeping back home at 630 in the morning though. :(
Current Mood: 
mysterious
mysterious30 January 2010 @ 09:16 am
I hope you don't judge me just because I seek "comfort" in other people after you.
Cause the only reason why I turned out the way I am today is because of you.
Torn, damaged and empty.
With a fuck-the-world attitude to boot.
Cause the only reason why I turned out the way I am today is because of you.
Torn, damaged and empty.
With a fuck-the-world attitude to boot.
Current Mood: 
damaged
damaged28 January 2010 @ 09:32 pm
28 January 2010 @ 06:22 pm
On one hand, I could but I don't want to.
On the other, I want but I shouldn't.
Why must there always be grey areas? Why can't everything simply be black and white?
Current Mood: 
dilemma
dilemma25 January 2010 @ 03:26 pm
just like in the movies, you took a few steps away from me. you paused. you turned around. gave me a sad smile. and then you walked away again. seconds passed. minutes. voices told me to run after you. but by then, you were already out of sight.
sounds lame enough, but it's been a while since you came into my dreams.
i love how work is consuming me right now.
